The FK Remixes
by Melissa Treglia
Summary: The complete collection of filks and song parodies I wrote as a newbie fanfic writer, from back in 2002. Loooooong time ago, folks, and I was barely out of high school at the time. So, pardon the decidedly cracky quality and just enjoy them for the shameless fun they were meant to be.
1. Without Me (The FK Remix)

Track 1:

**Without Me (The FK Remix)**

_A parody of Eminem's "Without Me"_

by Melissa Treglia

Two lady vamps go 'round the outside  
'Round the outside, 'round the outside  
(_Vamp Guy:_ Chik chik bah, uh chika-chika chik chik bah!)  
Two lady vamps go 'round the outside  
'Round the outside, 'round the outside  
(_Vamp Guy:_ Chik chik bah, uh chika-chika chik chik bah!)  
(_Vamp Girl:_ Oooh...)

_Fans:_  
Guess who's back  
Back again  
Nick is back  
So tell a friend  
Guess who's back  
Guess who's back  
Guess who's back  
Guess who's back  
Guess who's back  
Guess who's back  
Guess who's back  
Nah...  
Nah nah nah nah nah nah  
Nah...  
Nah nah nah nah!

I'm convinced I'm a monster  
And I don't wanna kill mortals anymore  
Nowadays I work on the police force  
In order to repay society for my sins, of course  
But... aw heck, it could always be worse!  
I'm sure you're wondering how I got the bright idea  
To end my old life as an ordinary mortal  
To sell my soul to the devil  
And become both a vampire and a rebel (_Guy Fan:_ Hey!)  
Lives, I've had more than several  
Including as a bassist in a band playing heavy metal  
But I'm sick of constantly relocating  
All the packing and unpacking is so irritating  
And my master won't let me be  
Or let me be me, and I've tried to see  
If I can escape his tyranny  
But he seems not to like life without me  
Anyway, let's start this hoedown  
Dance to the music while I give you the lowdown  
Now get ready  
'Cos this is about to get heavy  
Don't worry about the vamps in black suits  
They just want to par-tay!

Now this looks like the time for me  
To come back on SciFi TV  
'Cos we need a little vampire chivalry  
And the boob tube's empty without me  
I said this looks like the time for me  
To come back on SciFi TV  
'Cos we need a little vampire chivalry  
And the boob tube's empty without me

The air waves looked downright dull  
All intelligence seemed to be void and null  
My fans must've felt like prisoners, helpless  
Till someone told the SciFi gurus to rock the set (_Girl Fan:_ YES!)  
With at least one program that makes you think  
Instead of one that makes you drink  
For years, my fans have asked and asked  
Sent presents and basically kissed the ass  
Of every single power that be to get me back  
And with their e-mails, they did a sugar attack  
And now I'm back, nah nah nah nah nah nah nah  
Sitting on top of the TV world, so hah!  
And I won't go away for at least 70 more eps  
And my fans are sure to take care of the rest  
Of inconsistances and controversies  
I'm interesting  
To them, I'm far better than wrestling  
They say I'm cute but rather perplexing  
Enforcing my own ideas of love and biting  
(_Girl Fan:_ But there's really no need)  
But I don't whine about it - I like my dignity  
You see, my ideas are all about chivalry  
To help others you should strive to do  
Even if you don't really want to

Now this looks like the time for me  
To come back on SciFi TV  
'Cos we need a little vampire chivalry  
And the boob tube's empty without me  
I said this looks like the time for me  
To come back on SciFi TV  
'Cos we need a little vampire chivalry  
And the boob tube's empty without me

When people fight me, I really don't like it  
Before they swing at me, I'll have them licked  
Angel, you're gonna get your ass kicked  
Little twerp stole my thunder, and yes I'm annoyed by it  
And Buffy, she's just downright slutty  
Swinging a stake and wearing supertight outfits  
She's just annoying  
Ever since she screwed Angel she became a whore  
I don't want to see her on the screen anymore!  
But anyway, I just gotta say  
That every dog will have its day  
And I'm far from finished with mine yet  
(_Random Guy:_ I don't think so) Sure, you wanna bet?  
Why, you begin to ask?  
I'm the key character in a cult classic  
Well, this must mean I'm living la vida idolic  
In a biz that plays to a certain demographic (_Guy Fan:_ DAMN!)  
Although I'm not the first vamp on TV  
I am the best thing on the small screen  
To do the good vamp role so convincingly  
And, so doing, found *reel* immortality (_Girl Fan:_ Yay!)  
Here's a concept that works  
20 million other good guy vamps emerge  
But no matter how many fish are in the sea  
It'll be so empty without me

Now this looks like the time for me  
To come back on SciFi TV  
'Cos we need a little vampire chivalry  
And the boob tube's empty without me  
I said this looks like the time for me  
To come back on SciFi TV  
'Cos we need a little vampire chivalry  
And the boob tube's empty without me

_Fans:_  
Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah  
Le le le le le  
Le le le le le  
Le le le le  
Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah  
Le le le le le  
Le le le le le  
La la la la  
Nick!


	2. Loverboy (The FK Remix)

Track 2:

**Loverboy (The FK Remix)**

_A parody of Mariah Carey's "Loverboy"_

by Melissa Treglia

(lead vocals by Natalie Lambert in _**bolded italics**_)

Aah! Hee...  
No way  
Natalie's got a vampire  
(Psst...)  
Yeah  
Nick and Nat sittin' in a tree  
S-U-C-K-I-N-G  
Aah! (uh-huh, uh-huh baby)  
Aah! (uh-huh, uh-huh baby)  
Aah! (uh-huh, uh-huh baby)  
Woooo...

**_I want him, I want him, I want him, I want him_**  
**_I need him, I need him, I need him, I need him_**  
**_I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him_**  
**_I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him_**

_Nick:_  
Damn, is is the beating of her heart  
Or the smell of her hair  
How her pretty lips part  
Or the weight of her stare  
She doesn't give a damn  
About my history  
Or for what I am  
She really loves me for me

_LaCroix:_  
Nicolas you're kidding yourself  
Mortal lovers  
Die when you play with them  
Undercover  
You gotta see  
You'll only take her  
You'll laugh now  
But you'll cry later

_Nick:_  
I don't think you understand my side  
Tell me why  
My feelings I can't hide  
I know you're just jealous  
Trying to break us  
'Cos you couldn't have Fleur  
But you can't part us

_LaCroix:_  
It's clear to see  
That mortal love never lasts  
You know that  
It's in your past (_Nick:_ Say what?)  
There will be others in your lifetime other than  
The one whose love you have now  
There will be more again

_**I got myself a lover**_  
_**Who lives in the dark**_  
_**And he's entranced by**_  
_**The beat of my heart**_  
_**And when my immortal love**_  
_**Takes me for a ride**_  
_**In the Caddy I know it's**_  
_**Gonna be fine**_

_**He's all mine**_  
_**And his lovin' gets me high**_  
_**When he takes me away**_  
_**I just want him to stay my loverboy**_

_**Loverboy take me away**_  
_**With you I really want to stay**_  
_**I hope it'll be this way**_  
_**Always forever**_  
_**Loverboy how I want you**_  
_**And I know you want me too**_  
_**And I know no matter what it's**_  
_**Always forever**_

_**I got myself a lover**_  
_**Who knows what I like**_  
_**It's like I'm in heaven**_  
_**When I feel him inside**_  
_**'Cos when my immortal love**_  
_**Takes me for a ride**_  
_**In the Caddy I know it's**_  
_**Gonna be fine**_

_**I get weak**_  
_**When he speaks so softly**_  
_**Every day I pray and pray**_  
_**That he'll just stay my loverboy**_

_**Loverboy take me away**_  
_**With you I really want to stay**_  
_**I hope it'll be this way**_  
_**Always forever**_  
_**Loverboy how I want you**_  
_**And I know you want me too**_  
_**And I know no matter what it's**_  
_**Always forever**_

_**I want you to take me now**_  
_**I want you to take me now**_  
_**Please tell me you feel**_  
_**The same way that I do**_  
_**I'm intoxicated**_  
_**Fascinated**_  
_**I thank heaven that I've known you**_  
_**I want you to take me now**_  
_**I want you to take me now**_  
_**I want you to take me now**_  
_**Woooooo...**_  
_**Thoughts of you invade my head**_  
_**I toss and turn in my bed**_  
_**During the daylight hours I long for you**_  
_**It's like nothing I've known**_  
_**That's the reason why**_  
_**Even though I'm real shy**_  
_**I can't help but smile when I'm with you**_  
_**Indeed I do 'cos of you**_

_Vachon:_  
You're a rare kind of innocent  
A vision of love  
You adore me  
Despite what my past's made up of

_Tracy:_  
What I see in you  
Is for my eyes only to see  
And I've seen the best and worst  
Of what there is to see  
And I'm still your girl

_Vachon:_  
And I'm still your man  
I'll love you the best I can  
I promise that we'll be together  
Forever

_Tracy:_  
And ain't it funny, my love  
That they can't understand  
Any of  
What we're a part of  
Well, that's their problem  
Not ours  
Can't try to stop us  
From loving each other so much 'cos  
We're unbreakable  
And our love's untameable

_Vachon:_  
Well girl, we can do this tonight  
All day and all night  
Can't stop this without a fight  
That's right  
Fantasy becomes reality  
Whatever you want me to do, just tell me  
You can be sweet or obscene

_Tracy:_  
Now you see I didn't know  
Wherever I wanna be we can go  
Other girls wish they had this flow  
Only in their dreams, yeah  
All my ladies let me hear you scream:  
"Hate on me much as you want to  
But you'll never be with my man  
You'll never take him from me"  
(_Natalie:_ From me...)  
"Hate on me much as you want to  
But what I've got you'll never see  
You'll never take him from me baby"  
(_Natalie:_ Loverboy...)

_**Loverboy take me away**_  
_**With you I really want to stay**_  
_**I hope it'll be this way**_  
_**Always forever**_  
_**Loverboy how I want you**_  
_**And I know you want me too**_  
_**And I know no matter what it's**_  
_**Always forever**_

_**Loverboy take me away**_  
_**With you I really want to stay**_  
_**I hope it'll be this way**_  
_**Always forever**_  
_**Loverboy how I want you**_  
_**And I know you want me too**_  
_**And I know no matter what it's**_  
_**Always forever**_

_**Loverboy take me away**_  
_**With you I really want to stay**_  
_**I hope it'll be this way**_  
_**Always forever**_

_(Fade Out)_


	3. I'm Undead

Track 3:

**I'm Undead**

_A parody of Celine Dion's "I'm Alive"_

by Melissa Treglia

I go for the red  
Oh, I'm undead

You may like coffee  
But that's not for me  
I go for the red  
'Cos, you know, I'm undead

I don't like Pepsi  
It hurts my head  
You know 'cos I'm undead

It may sound sucky  
But I feel lucky  
I drink blood instead  
I'm glad that I'm undead

I'd like to suck your blood  
And bite your neck  
'Cos you offered  
Oh what the heck

Please just sign this waiver  
So your blood I can savor  
'Cos I am undead

You may like coffee  
But that's not for me  
I go for the red  
'Cos, you know, I'm undead

You may like tea  
But I prefer some red  
Oh you know...

It's a pain in the butt some nights  
Vamp hunters like to pick a fight  
And it never ends  
But bloodlust is part of unlife

You may like coffee  
You may like tea  
I go for the red  
'Cos, you know...

It may sound sucky  
But I feel lucky  
I drink blood instead  
You know that I'm undead

I go for the red  
Oh you know I'm undead


	4. Oops! I Took Too Much

Track 4:

** Oops! I Took Too Much**

_A parody of Britney Spears' "Oops!...I Did It Again"_

by Melissa Treglia

Melissa (aka the author): "Come on, Nick. Pleeeease do this parody for me."  
Nick (aka the muse): "Uh-uh... no way."  
Melissa: "But Nick, you're my best Muse! Please don't let me down!"  
Nick: "Absolutely not."  
Melissa: "You afraid it'll offend your dignity... er something?"  
Nick: "Well I don't want to look like an a$$..."  
Melissa: "You won't, mon chevalier. I promise."  
Nick: "Your French is improving. But my answer is still no."  
Melissa: "Awww! Come on!"  
Nick: "Not after you made me parody The Beat Goes On... the Britney Spears version!"  
Melissa: "Ok, so that wasn't one of my better parodies..."  
Nick: "And Ja Rule... and Caddillac Tah... and Chayanne... *and* Twenty II..."  
Melissa: "What about the Eminem parody?"  
Nick: "Actually, that one was quite good! Especially the part about me kicking Angel's $$."  
Melissa: "Well, the people on the bboards thought the other parodies were rather good too..."  
Nick: "Well, that's them."  
Melissa: "Geez, you're a tough critic! You were never this tough on my fanfic."  
Nick: "Well your fanfics are usually serious..."  
Melissa: "What about the commercial?"  
Nick: "Well..."  
Melissa: "You enjoyed it 'cos you got to play 'search & seizure' with Nat. Don't lie! Admit it!"  
Nick: "Well, I..."  
Melissa: "That wasn't at all serious. Sure I had to convince Nat to play with it, at first. But after she started, she got really into it. I didn't come up with the line about 'getting off on good behaviour'! She did!"  
Nick: "She *did*?!"  
Melissa: "Uh-huh!"  
Nick: "Wow... you think you know somebody..."  
Melissa: "Why are we talking about Nat? We should be talking about you... doing *my* parody!"  
Nick: "Unless it's for a noble cause, I wanna know what's in it for me."  
Melissa: "What could be a more noble cause than making people laugh?"  
Nick: "Saving gay baby whales from getting nuked."  
Melissa: "Hardy-har-har. Everybody's a comedian. I'm writing all of this down, by the way."  
Nick: "So people can see how crazy you are?"  
Melissa: "No... so people can see how dedicated we fanfic writers are to the characters who become our muses. Now please... do the parody."  
Nick: "But I don't *want* to."  
Melissa: "God, you're such a diva sometimes. Okay then, what can I do to convince you to do the parody?"  
Nick: "Complete Sins Of The Father."  
Melissa: "All right... but only *after* I get my parody."  
Nick: "All right."  
Melissa: "Good. Great. Now. Start."

_Mmmhmm, mmhmm (mmm yeah)_  
_Mmmhmm, mmhmm_

_Mmmhmm, mmhmm (yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah)_  
_Mmmhmm, mmhmm (yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah)_

_Can't believe it happened again_  
_I took too much_  
_Brought your life to an end_  
_Ooh baby_  
_I didn't mean to lose control_  
_But it seems that I_  
_Won't ever know_  
_To keep the beast from_  
_Destroying all my mortal loves_  
_Ooh baby baby_

_Oops! I took too much_  
_It's just one of those things_  
_That make immortality suck_  
_Ooh baby baby_  
_Oops! Love really bites_  
_When you live at night_  
_I'm just so sick of this_

_You see my problem is this_  
_I can't stop myself_  
_To play it safe, it's impossible with a kiss_  
_Every night seems to get longer_  
_And the hunger_  
_Keeps getting stronger_  
_Got to keep the beast from_  
_Destroying all my mortal loves_  
_Baby oh_

_Oops! I took too much_  
_It's just one of those things_  
_That make immortality suck_  
_Ooh baby baby_  
_Oops! Love really bites_  
_When you live at night_  
_I'm just so sick of this_

_Mmmhmm, mmhmm (yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah)_  
_Mmmhmm, mmhmm (yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah...)_

Melissa: "What the...? Why'd you stop?"  
Nick: "Well this is the breakdown where there's supposed to be talking."  
Melissa: "Oh yeah... I forgot. It's been such a long time since I've heard this song."  
Nick: "Why don't you go back and listen to it?"  
Melissa: "Nick, I hate to break it to ya, but I only parody songs I really hate or really love."  
Nick: "I'm guessing this is not one of the songs you really love."  
Melissa: "Damn straight. Now finish up. We're in the home stretch."

_Oops! I took too much again_  
_Immortality sometimes sucks oh baby_  
_Oops! Love bites at night_  
_I'm just so sick of this_

_Oops! I took too much_  
_It's just one of those things_  
_That make immortality suck_  
_Ooh baby baby_  
_Oops! Love really bites_  
_When you live at night_  
_I'm just so sick of this_

_Oops! I took too much_  
_It's just one of those things_  
_That make immortality suck_  
_Ooh baby baby_  
_Oops! Love really bites_  
_When you live at night_  
_I'm just so... sick of this_

Melissa: "Bravo! Bravo!"  
Nick: "Thank you."  
Melissa: "Ya see, that wasn't so bad, now was it?"  
Nick: "Not really. Just don't ever make me parody Britney again!"  
Melissa: "Erm... actually... I was kinda hoping that next time you would parody Baby One More Time."  
Nick: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


	5. Ain't It Funny (The FK Remix)

Track 5:

**Ain't It Funny (The FK Remix)**

_A parody of Jennifer Lopez's "Ain't It Funny (Murder Remix)"_

by Melissa Treglia

_Rap #1 (Nick):_  
Immortal Inc.  
Yes now it's all about you  
And damn, I wish you knew  
The way you make me feel  
It's all completely real  
Our situation doesn't matter  
I just wanna make you smile  
Make you feel better  
N to the A-T  
You see  
Now people, turn the track up  
Now get out of your chairs, get up  
Get down on the floor  
What are you waiting for?  
Now Lambie sing for me

Ain't it funny  
Because we're so different, you and me  
People don't get that we're not just history  
They just don't seem to understand  
I'll be your lady as long as you're my man  
When it feels so right, how can it be wrong  
After twelve years we're still going strong  
We've been through the worst and best  
And we've lasted longer than the rest

Ain't it funny  
Baby we're so different but we've stuck together  
Love can be crazy  
But we've outlasted the worst weather  
Ain't it funny  
Baby we're so different but we've stuck together  
Love can be crazy  
But we've outlasted the worst weather  
Ain't it funny

I remember how you told me you'd walk away  
Even though I needed you to stay  
I just wanted you to be there for me  
So I wouldn't spend the rest of my life lonely  
But now that you're still here with me  
I've got everything I'll ever need  
All I want is for us to be together  
And for our love to last forever

Ain't it funny  
Baby we're so different but we've stuck together  
Love can be crazy  
But we've outlasted the worst weather  
Ain't it funny  
Baby we're so different but we've stuck together  
Love can be crazy  
But we've outlasted the worst weather  
Ain't it funny

_Rap #2 (Nick):_  
N-I-C-K, that's me  
I know love's not free  
You tell me love don't cost a thing but you see  
Love can't buy a damn thing without money  
You think that I'll let you starve, honey?  
You know I won't make you go hungry  
And ain't it funny  
How they want me 'cos they know I've got money  
But I'm not a dummy  
What do these people expect from me?  
'Cos all I need is Nat (Lambie!)  
And Immortal I-N-C.

I really wish you wouldn't buy me gifts  
I don't want them 'cos that not what real love is  
There's nothing for me that you have to bring  
I thought I told you love don't cost a thing  
But it doesn't matter 'cos I love you still  
And don't you know that I always will  
And if our relationship ever comes to an end  
Then I hope that we can still be friends

Ain't it funny  
Baby we're so different but we've stuck together  
Love can be crazy  
But we've outlasted the worst weather  
Ain't it funny  
Baby we're so different but we've stuck together  
Love can be crazy  
But we've outlasted the worst weather  
Ain't it funny

Baby I know you love me  
You want to be part of me  
You're thinking of me  
La la la la la la!  
Baby you want to be part of me  
I know you love me  
You're thinking of me  
La la la la la la!


	6. I'm Real (The FK Remix)

Track 6:

**I'm Real (The FK Remix)**

_A parody of Jennifer Lopez's "I'm Real (Murder Remix)"_

by Melissa Treglia

_Nick:_ Come on and say it - what's my name?  
_Nat:_ N-I-C-K  
_Nick:_ I love you girl so let's just stop playing games  
_Nat:_ It's not supposed to be that way  
_Nick:_ Tired of being screwed with, it's the same damn thing  
_Nat:_ Don't wanna be played around  
_Nick:_ If I don't get respect, you'll never know what you're missing  
_Nat:_ You'll look and I won't be found  
Nick: I just want what's real - I won't do what I don't feel

_Nat:_  
I've met so many men and  
It's like they're all the same  
My appetite for loving  
Is now my hunger pain  
And when I'm craving romance  
Who's gonna be with me?  
My only problem is  
Their immaturity

_Nick:_ Don't wanna be alone  
_Nat:_ Yeah yeah  
_Nick:_ Staying by myself at home  
_Nat:_ Yeah yeah  
_Nick:_ Just want something that feels right  
_Nat:_ Yeah yeah  
_Nick:_ Just a little loving at night  
_Both:_ You know

_Nat:_ 'Cos I'm real  
_Nick:_ The beat of your heart  
How you snuggle in my arms  
And your pretty lips part  
_Nat:_ 'Cos I'm real  
_Nick:_ The weight of your stare  
The sound of your voice  
The scent of your hair  
_Nat:_ 'Cos I'm real  
_Nick:_ The sweetness of your smile  
The touch of your hand  
It all just drives me wild  
_Nat:_ 'Cos I'm real  
_Both:_ And I can't go on without you

_Nick:_  
Girl, I've been about you and me  
And I wanna know  
Where we're gonna be eventually  
You know been through some tough times  
And some good times  
And it was our time even if it was only sometimes  
Now people are thinking I've been doing you wrong  
Thinking that we won't work all along  
But they don't realize I love you and want to see you happy  
I'd give you everything to make you see  
That baby I ain't in this for nothing  
Want to get it rocking, hopping  
With you in the Caddy  
Having a party  
Just relaxing with my lady  
Hey... it's for real  
What I feel  
But you just don't seem to understand baby

_Nat:_ 'Cos I'm real  
_Nick:_ The beat of your heart  
How you snuggle in my arms  
And your pretty lips part  
_Nat:_ 'Cos I'm real  
_Nick:_ The weight of your stare  
The sound of your voice  
The scent of your hair  
_Nat:_ 'Cos I'm real  
_Nick:_ The sweetness of your smile  
The touch of your hand  
It all just drives me wild  
_Nat:_ 'Cos I'm real  
_Both:_ And I can't go on without you

_Nat:_  
Now people are loving me and hating me  
Thinking that they really know me  
But they don't  
And they can't take my dignity  
My life, I live it how I feel and it's real  
And now I can breathe again  
Finally I can breathe again  
Now people are screaming  
"What's the deal with you and so-and-so?"  
I tell them to mind their own biz  
But they don't hear me though  
'Cos I live my life how I feel and it's real  
And now I can breathe again  
Finally I can breathe again

_Nick:_ Don't wanna be alone  
_Nat:_ Yeah yeah  
_Nick:_ Staying by myself at home  
_Nat:_ Yeah yeah  
_Nick:_ Just want something that feels right  
_Nat:_ Yeah yeah  
_Nick:_ Just a little loving at night  
_Both:_ You know

_Nat:_ 'Cos I'm real  
_Nick:_ The beat of your heart  
How you snuggle in my arms  
And your pretty lips part  
_Nat:_ 'Cos I'm real  
_Nick:_ The weight of your stare  
The sound of your voice  
The scent of your hair  
_Nat:_ 'Cos I'm real  
_Nick:_ The sweetness of your smile  
The touch of your hand  
It all just drives me wild  
_Nat:_ 'Cos I'm real  
_Both:_ And I can't go on without you

_Nat:_ 'Cos I'm real  
_Nick:_ The beat of your heart  
How you snuggle in my arms  
And your pretty lips part  
_Nat:_ 'Cos I'm real  
_Nick:_ The weight of your stare  
The sound of your voice  
The scent of your hair  
_Nat:_ 'Cos I'm real  
_Nick:_ The sweetness of your smile  
The touch of your hand  
It all just drives me wild  
_Nat:_ 'Cos I'm real  
_Both:_ And I can't go on without you


	7. About Last Knight

Track 7:

**About Last Knight**

_A parody of Britney Spears' cover of Sonny & Cher's "The Beat Goes On"_

by Melissa Treglia

Mortal blood keeps flowing through your veins  
Ladi dadi di, ladi dadi da  
It seems impossible to ignore the call  
And I can't seem to stop myself at all  
I'm losing control of my passion uh-huh  
This is gonna be a fatal make-out session uh-huh

It's about Last Knight  
It's about Last Knight  
It's about Last Knight  
It's about Last Knight  
It's about Last Knight  
It's about Last Knight

Mortal blood keeps flowing through your veins  
Ladi dadi di, ladi dadi da  
Biting is right now the only thing on my mind  
'Cos anything else right now would be unkind

It's about Last Knight  
It's about Last Knight  
It's about Last Knight  
It's about Last Knight  
It's about Last...  
It's about Last...  
It's about Last Knight

Mortal blood keeps flowing through your veins  
Ladi dadi di, ladi dadi da  
I've waited more than six years for this  
To give you this special kind of kiss

It's about Last Knight  
It's about Last Knight  
It's about Last Knight  
It's about Last Knight

Mortal blood keeps flowing through your veins  
Ladi dadi di, ladi dadi da  
Oops I've taken too much again  
I guess this is gonna be the end

It's about Last Knight yeah yeah  
It's about Last Knight yeah yeah  
It's about Last Knight yeah yeah  
It's about Last Knight yeah yeah  
It's about Last Knight yeah yeah  
It's about Last Knight yeah yeah

_(Fade Out)_


	8. Love Don't Cost A Thing (The FK Remix)

Track 8:

**Love Don't Cost A Thing (The FK Remix)**

_A parody of Jennifer Lopez's "Love Don't Cost A Thing" (the Schoolyard and Bad Boy mixes)_

by Melissa Treglia

My love don't cost a thing

_Nick:_  
Yeah  
Don't get it confused or twisted  
This is a Forever Knight remix  
With me and Natalie  
Lambie  
My girl, let's get started  
Come on

It's not because of what you are  
I don't want your money or the car  
Doesn't really matter 'cos  
My love don't cost a thing  
I have nothing at all to hide  
I just want you by my side  
That's all I really want  
'Cos love don't cost a thing

(_Nick:_ Lambie)  
When I started seeing another man  
It was obvious that you gave a damn  
Underneath the facade it was easy to see  
How much you really care for me  
When I took him home the other night  
You got jealous, we started to fight  
Afterward you just walked away  
I wish I had the courage to make you stay  
(Nick: I couldn't stay)  
It's not just a game that I'm trying to play  
I wish that things didn't have to be this way  
(Nick: Tell me what you want, c'mon)

It's not because of what you are  
I don't want your money or the car  
Doesn't really matter 'cos  
My love don't cost a thing  
I have nothing at all to hide  
I just want you by my side  
That's all I really want  
'Cos love don't cost a thing

(_Nick:_ Lambie)  
I'm gonna take a chance, try and make you understand  
I'll be happy as long as you're my man  
Don't think that I can be bought when I'm already yours  
What I need from you is not available in stores  
Don't be afraid to let me in your heart  
'Cos I really love you for who you are  
Your love for me makes me feel fulfilled  
I love you more than words and I always will  
It's not just a game that I'm trying to play  
I wish that things didn't have to be this way

It's not because of what you are  
I don't want your money or the car (baby)  
Doesn't really matter 'cos  
My love don't cost a thing  
I have nothing at all to hide  
I just want you by my side  
That's all I really want  
'Cos love don't cost a thing

Love don't cost a thing  
A thing  
A thing  
Yeah yeah, yeah...

_Nick:_  
Yeah, I know baby and you know  
That I can see this  
Love don't cost a thing you seem to think  
I don't know  
Every woman I've been with wanted everything  
Wanted everything that I could bring  
They'd say it was my personality that got them hypnotized  
But every relationship I was in was built on lies  
They didn't really care about me  
All they wanted was money and immortality  
But you're different 'cos you don't want anything  
You say that your love don't cost a thing  
Is it really true  
That your love don't cost a thing  
I wanna know if it's real  
I wanna know how you really feel  
Just tell me that your love for me is real  
If you want my heart you've got to be honest with me  
And have integrity  
It should be plain to see  
That I'm tired of women who use me for their own gain  
I'm tired of the heartache, struggles and the pain  
So much has happened in my life  
Now I just want to settle down  
Have a few children and a wife  
You know what I mean  
Just go straight, come clean  
Leave the past behind  
Have a real love that I can call mine  
Someone on bad days to tell me it'll be fine  
If your love is true  
Then that won't be impossible for you to do  
And life won't mean shit without you

It's not the money that you've got (_Nick:_ no)  
That can hit just the right spot (_Nick:_ that's right)  
And get the keys into my heart (_Nick:_ sing it)  
Think that can win my heart (_Nick:_ no)  
Don't know what's in my heart (_Nick:_ yes I do)  
(Love don't cost a thing)  
I think we need to spend some time (_Nick:_ all right)  
And talk about where we're gonna be (_Nick:_ yeah)  
If you're gonna be with me (_Nick:_ Just you and me)  
And be part of my life  
So I can be your wife  
(Nick: Let's break it down right here)

_Nick:_  
Yeah  
Yeah  
I like this right here  
Just c'mon c'mon  
Just bounce for me like this  
Just bounce for me like this  
Just bounce for me like this

Doesn't really matter 'cos (_Nick: Really?_)  
My love don't cost a thing (_Nick: Lambie_)

It's not because of what you are  
I don't want your money or the car  
Doesn't really matter 'cos  
My love don't cost a thing  
I have nothing at all to hide  
I just want you by my side  
That's all I really want  
'Cos love don't cost a thing

It's not because of what you are  
I don't want your money or the car  
Doesn't really matter 'cos  
My love don't cost a thing  
I have nothing at all to hide  
I just want you by my side  
That's all I really want  
'Cos love don't cost a thing

It's not because of what you are  
I don't want your money or the car  
Doesn't really matter 'cos  
My love don't cost a thing  
I have nothing at all to hide  
I just want you by my side  
That's all I really want  
'Cos love don't cost a thing

It's not because of what you are  
I don't want your money or the car  
Doesn't really matter 'cos  
My love don't cost a thing  
I have nothing at all to hide  
I just want you by my side

_(Fade Out)_


	9. Play (The FK Remix)

Track 9:

**Play (The FK Remix)**

_A parody of Jennifer Lopez's "Play (Sack International Remix)"_

by Melissa Treglia

Uh-huh  
Yeah

Brought across in 12-two-eight  
Now it seems about six years too late  
To bring back the show today  
But we love it anyway (it's a cool show)  
And when you hear that theme  
And see that logo across the screen  
You grab a tape and pop it in (damn, where is it?)  
And let the recording begin

Play  
Play those episodes  
Play them all day long  
(Sci-Fi just play those eps)  
'Cos we want a marathon  
Play  
Sci-Fi please play those eps  
We wanna watch 'em all day long  
(Sci-Fi just play those eps)  
What we want is a marathon

Sci-Fi just play those eps  
'Cos we wanna watch 'em all day long  
So won't you play our, play our, play our, play our  
Play our favourite show

We don't care that it began so long ago  
We just want you to play our show  
Skip school or work - oh no  
At eleven our tapes are good to go  
Get chills up and down the spine (ooh!)  
Whenever the tape doesn't record on time  
Skip the rest of the tape and wait (I can wait)  
For the ep to play one more time

Play  
Play those episodes  
Play them all day long (yeah!)  
(Sci-Fi just play those eps)  
'Cos we want a marathon  
Play  
Sci-Fi please play those eps  
We wanna watch 'em all day long  
(Sci-Fi just play those eps)  
'Cos we're gonna be watching all day long  
(What we want is a marathon)

(Oh pretty please...)  
Play  
Play those episodes  
Play them all day long  
(Sci-Fi just play those eps)  
'Cos we want a marathon  
(Do a marathon... for me?)  
Play  
Sci-Fi please play those eps  
We wanna watch 'em all day long  
(Sci-Fi just play those eps)  
'Cos we're gonna be watching all day long  
(What we want is a marathon)

Now Sci-Fi Channel  
We've asked a million times  
Play our, play our, play our show!  
I just wanna watch...  
Uh-huh  
Is that a crime?  
Uh-uh  
All right then...  
Uh-uh  
Pretty please, guys  
Uh-uh  
I just wanna watch...

Play  
Play those episodes (yeah)  
Play them all day long  
(Sci-Fi just play those eps)  
'Cos we want a marathon (yes)  
Play  
Sci-Fi please play those eps  
We wanna watch 'em all day long (yeah)  
(Sci-Fi just play those eps)  
'Cos we're gonna be watching all day long  
(What we want is a marathon)

Play  
Play those episodes  
Play them all day long  
(Sci-Fi just play those eps)  
'Cos we want a marathon  
Play  
Sci-Fi please play those eps  
We wanna watch 'em all day long (put them on)  
(Sci-Fi just play those eps) (put them on)  
'Cos we're gonna be watching all day long  
(What we want is a marathon) (put the show on)

Play  
Play those episodes  
Play them all day long  
(Sci-Fi just play those eps)  
'Cos we want a marathon  
Play (put them on)  
Sci-Fi please play those eps (play them all day long)  
We wanna watch 'em all day long (all day long)  
(Sci-Fi just play those eps)  
'Cos we're gonna be watching all day long  
(What we want is a marathon)

Uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh!  
'Cos we wanna watch 'em  
'Cos we wanna watch 'em  
Play... those eps  
'Cos we wanna watch 'em  
'Cos we wanna watch 'em all day long  
Sci-Fi just play those eps  
Sci-Fi just play those eps  
What we want is a marathon  
Sci-Fi just play those eps  
What we want is a marathon  
Sci-Fi just play those eps  
Just put them on  
All day long

Just play those eps  
All day long  
Yeah, that's all we want right now


	10. Touch Me

Track 10:

**Touch Me**

_A parody of Jennifer Lopez & Chayanne's "Dame"_

by Melissa Treglia

_Nick:_  
Baby I love you more than life  
And I'd have you for my wife  
If only the darkness wouldn't take over  
Then I could be your lover

_Natalie:_  
Baby if only I could believe you  
That everything you say is true  
But words simply aren't enough  
Only your actions can prove your love

_Nick:_  
This deep passion that burns inside of me  
Is dangerous baby but can't you see  
How badly I want to make love to you, gently  
Passionately, seductively, lovingly

_Natalie:_  
Oh baby please

_Both:_  
Touch me, touch me, touch me tenderly  
Tell me, tell me, tell me you love me  
Take me, take me, take me  
In your arms is where I long to be  
Touch me, touch me, touch me tenderly  
Tell me, tell me, tell me you love me  
Take me, take me, take me  
In your arms is where I long to be

_Natalie:_  
In spite of everything we've been through  
I feel like I don't know you  
How can I know how you feel

_Nick:_  
How can you not see it in my eyes  
It's something I can't deny  
I just want to hold you  
The beat of your heart is a siren song  
I lose control and can't help my longing

This deep passion that burns inside of me  
Is dangerous baby but can't you see  
How badly I want to make love to you, gently  
Passionately, seductively, lovingly

_Natalie:_  
Oh baby please

_Both:_  
Touch me, touch me, touch me tenderly  
Tell me, tell me, tell me you love me  
Take me, take me, take me  
In your arms is where I long to be  
(_Nick:_ How can prove my love?)  
Touch me, touch me, touch me tenderly  
Tell me, tell me, tell me you love me  
Take me, take me, take me  
In your arms is where I long to be  
(_Natalie:_ Oh baby please...)

Touch me, touch me, touch me tenderly  
(_Nick:_ How can prove my love?)  
Tell me, tell me, tell me you love me  
Take me, take me, take me  
In your arms is where I long to be  
Touch me, touch me, touch me tenderly  
(_Natalie:_ Touch me!)  
Tell me, tell me, tell me you love me  
Take me, take me, take me  
In your arms is where I long to be

_Nick:_  
Tell me how  
How can I prove to you that I love you?

_Natalie:_  
Touch me now  
If you really love me then show me

_Nick:_  
Look at me  
The love is there in my eyes

_Natalie:_  
I need you to touch me  
And tell me how it feels to love me

_Both:_  
Touch me  
Say you love me  
Tell me  
(_Natalie:_ I wanna be with you...)

Touch me, touch me, touch me tenderly  
(_Nick:_ How do I tell you?)  
Tell me, tell me, tell me you love me  
(_Nick:_ How do I show you?)  
Take me, take me, take me  
In your arms is where I long to be  
(_Nick:_ How do I prove I love you?)  
Touch me, touch me, touch me tenderly  
Tell me, tell me, tell me you love me  
Take me, take me, take me  
In your arms is where I long to be  
(_Nick:_ Tell me what to say...)

Touch me, touch me, touch me tenderly  
(_Nick:_ You already know I love you)  
Tell me, tell me, tell me you love me  
(_Nick:_ I wish you'd believe me)  
Take me, take me, take me  
In your arms is where I long to be  
(_Nick:_ How can I make you believe?)  
Touch me, touch me, touch me tenderly  
(_Natalie:_ Just touch me)  
Tell me, tell me, tell me you love me

_(Fade Out)_


	11. Can't Remember The Words

Bonus Track:

**Can't Remember The Words**

_A non-FK parody of Kylie Minogue's "Can't Get You Outta My Head"_

by MelissaTreglia

La la la, la la la la la  
La la la, la la la la la  
La la la, la la la la la  
La la la, la la la la la

I just can't remember the words  
So I'll just act like I know them  
I just can't remember the words  
I don't have a clue where to find them

La la la, la la la la la  
La la la, la la la la la  
La la la, la la la la la  
La la la, la la la la la

I just can't remember the words  
So I'll just act like I know them  
I just can't remember the words  
I don't have a clue where to find them

I can't seem to find the words  
I know I left the music sheet right here  
Where'd it go?  
I don't know  
It's gone forever and ever and ever and ever

La la la, la la la la la  
La la la, la la la la la  
La la la, la la la la la  
La la la, la la la la la

I just can't remember the words  
So I'll just act like I know them  
I just can't remember the words  
I don't have a clue where to find them

Short term memory really sucks  
But things are cool 'cos I still get  
The big bucks  
Oh what luck  
The greenbacks pile up and up and up and up

La la la, la la la la la  
La la la, la la la la la  
La la la, la la la la la  
La la la, la la la la la

La la la, la la la la la  
La la la, la la la la la  
I just can't remember the words  
La la la, la la la la la  
La la la, la la la la la  
I just can't remember the words  
La la la, la la la la la  
La la la, la la la la la


End file.
